Written by registered nutritionist, Elle Brown.
I watched her shift in her seat. "It's just really painful," she recounted. "It isn't that I am not attracted to him, it just feels like my body isn't doing what it is meant to be doing. I just want to enjoy sex with my boyfriend again." A sentiment I have heard more than a few times in clinical practice, something I wish as women, we discussed more.
"My body is broken. I just have no desire, I almost feel numb. It's been so long, I feel ashamed," another client shared with me in session.
I listen to women's stories for a living. Something I feel so honoured to be able to do. I hear stories about chronic symptoms, pain, discomfort, and conditions, many of which are deeply rooted in shame and a belief that no one else experiences these things or that their bodies are inherently broken.
Dryness, discomfort, disconnection and desire
There are four main areas of womanhood that seem to be dealt with behind closed doors, hidden away and painfully pushed down. Vaginal dryness, discomfort, pain, disconnection to body and self, libido and sexual desire are states that many women navigate, yet are in so many ways, still a taboo topic.
These are some of the phases where I often see an impact to libido and vaginal discomfort:
- In periods of stress and change
- Alongside hormonal conditions such as PCOS and endometriosis
- Following birth and while breastfeeding
- In periods where sleep is impacted
- Where menstrual bleeds are irregular
- For women on certain medications or birth control methods
- Following trauma
- Navigating peri-menopause and menopause
- Chronic illness, body image, mental health, and how we feel within a relationship or towards ourselves
How lube can help (and harm) the vagina
Like our gut, we too have a microbiome within our vaginal area. A microbiome that is sensitive to imbalance, infection and irritation. We want to be taking our personal care products seriously so that we are supporting the body naturally rather than adding to the symptoms. For optimal vaginal health, I recommend steering clear of scented products, anything used for pleasure that includes harsh chemicals, and detergents or fabrics that could be driving irritation.
Our body is a wise vessel and it will always communicate with us through symptoms. Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces. You are not alone, you never were, and these presentations are not simply present but prevalent across different phases of women's health.
When to see a specialist
Nutrition and lifestyle choices, plus supportive supplementation and tools, can greatly assist. As always, choose a women's health practitioner you trust. If you are experiencing ongoing symptoms, pain or discomfort, seek medical advice and adequate testing.
Meet Elle
Owner of Elle Brown Wellness, a women's health studio on Sydney's Northern Beaches. Elle is a Women's Wellness Nutritionist with a Bachelor of Health Science in Nutrition and Dietetic Medicine, a Masters in Human Nutrition, and over 10 years of experience helping women of all ages.